Snakes on a column about doping

This column isn’t an essay and I’m not trying to argue any particular thesis. It’s just a collection of my thoughts at a particular point in time on a subject that I know we’ve all been thinking about. Personally, I don’t even know what to think.

We do know some things though. We know that Basso and Ullrich were fingered in Operacion Puerto and Lanids returned an “abnormal” test result. We know that a boatload of bad press was generated and some sponsors dropped out.

Now let’s take a step back.

The fundamental question that underlies any debate on doping is this: are professional sports just entertainment, or do they hold some higher moral value?

Say what you will in your own column, but I’m going with “professional sports are just entertainment.”

So, in those terms, the main differences between the Olympics and Snakes On A Plane are that the Olympics don’t have poisonous reptiles and Snakes On A Plane doesn’t have a bizarre opening ceremony.

That said, if you think Snakes On A Plane is the dumbest thing you ever heard of, vote with your wallet and spend the ten bucks on something else. If you think it would be fun to see Samuel L. Jackson say “motherfuckin’ snakes on this motherfuckin’ plane!!!”, then enjoy the show.

Either way, the people that the movie is actually trying to entertain will ultimately decide whether it succeeds or fails.

People didn’t stop buying Giants tickets after the Barry Bonds steroid allegations. Despite their reservations about one player, they expressed their willingness to continue to be entertained by baseball. Like it or not, baseball’s line in the sand is drawn where it is because the fans want it there, and they’ve voted with their wallets and their feet.

When it comes to cycling, I don’t think that the long-term impact of the doping scandals themselves will be too damaging if the sport comes away with the ability to say that we hold ourselves to the highest standards that can effectively catch the big fish, and we’re willing to deal with the P.R. consequences.

But in order to say this, those standards must be impartial.

Now, after all the leaks and leaps to judgment from the anti-doping authorities and governing bodies, that impartiality is no longer credible and seems to rest entirely with a handful of individuals representing no particular constituency.

And despite what those individuals might have you believe, doping is not a black-and-white issue.

For instance, you’re not allowed to take your blood out and put it back in later, but sleeping in an altitude tent is acceptable. Both are artificial and both have the same effect, but only one is acceptable.

In that sense, anti-doping regulation requires drawing an arbitrary line in the gray area.

But in cycling, the rule-makers draw the line where they want to, and they expect the fans to trust them. But after this summer, it looks more like they’re taking the fans and their trust for granted, and that will damage cycling more in the long run than what Ivan, Jan, and Floyd may or may not have done.

Please note a couple things here. First, I’m only talking about professional sports as entertainment. Certainly, youth and amateur participation sports should have standards other than their entertainment value.

Also, I don’t want to imply that I have anything other than a strong anti-doping stance. The rules are clear, cheating is cheating, and play should be fair. But it’s not about what I think – or what any individual thinks.

My point is that the fans should play a role in deciding what’s doping and what’s not. The UCI, WADA and USADA work for you, and you should have a say in where the line that they enforce is drawn.